I was fascinated with the phone system and how it worked; I became a hacker to get better control over the phone company.
~ Kevin Mitnick.
Hi guys, in this TIL (Today I Learned) article I’ll talk about what are the things I’ve learned from texting girls. This would mostly give you some profound knowledge on what I did try and some conclusions. No pickup artist tricks, just the honest lessons from the phone screen, some learned the hard way.
1. 🐢 Don’t Give Up Too Easily
One mistake guys make when texting girls is giving up too easily. They’ll text a girl, and if they don’t hear anything back (or just get a brief reply), they’ll assume the girl isn’t interested and give up. But this is often a big mistake. After all, the reasons a girl won’t respond sometimes have nothing to do with whether or not she’s interested: she may be busy, in a bad mood, or simply unsure of how she wants to respond. The point is you don’t always know what’s going on in her head, so there’s no point in assuming the worst.
And even if you’re right and she isn’t interested at that moment, that doesn’t mean she won’t change her mind. Give her some time (a few days, it can even be weeks), then re-engage with a light, fun, playful text. Also, you’ll have better odds of getting a response if you ask a question that compels her to reply.
A real life example of a good re-engaging text: “Hey crazy face… are you still alive? Should I send a search party of midget ninjas (or minjas as they prefer to be called) to come rescue you?!” Keeping this light, fun, playful tone will get her smiling and put her in a good mood. If you can get her to smile, you’ll likely get a text soon.
2. 📵 Don’t Text Too Much
Nothing can kill attraction and ruin your chances of seeing a girl again quite like texting her too much. It makes a guy look needy and provides no challenge for the girl, which means she may quickly get bored and move on. To avoid this, here are a few simple rules:
- When texting a girl, keep the text ratio close to 1:1. Send her about as many texts as she sends you, and look to keep them roughly the same length.
- Cut out needless texts. Don’t text in situations where a response isn’t necessary. For example, you don’t need to reply to her “have a good night!” text if you’re just going to say “you too!” At that point the conversation is already over. Let it end with her.
- Keep an abundance mentality. Over-texting tends to be the result of scarcity and neediness. That is, guys feel they need things to go well with her because they are afraid it’s the only opportunity they’ll have for a long time. Simply imagine that you have a hundred other amazing girls who are actively interested in you. This will keep you from getting too hung up on that one girl and from texting her too much.
3. 😄 Don’t Take Your Texts Too Seriously
There’s a time and place for serious conversation, and texting is not it. Trying to have a serious conversation over text is exhausting and nobody likes doing it. So keep the serious “let’s-get-to-know-each-other” conversations for live interactions. When texting, focus on having fun and keeping it light.
A great way to keep things light is by using emoticons. Lots of guys shy away from them and think they’re “girly.” But guess what? You’re texting a girl, and girls like that stuff. Plus, they ensure that she won’t take what you say out of context. She won’t have to guess your mood, because the emoticon conveys it for you. As a result, they help you avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary drama.
4. 🌊 Text Enough Women
When a guy is just texting one girl at a time, it’s easy for him to get wrapped up in that “scarcity” mentality mentioned earlier. If you want to get out of that mindset for good, then text lots of women. Texting a lot of women will help that abundance mentality develop naturally. Once you have that, you’ll bring a fun, care-free attitude to all your interactions, which is going to make you that much more attractive.
Plus, with all that practice, you’ll gain an intuitive knowledge of what to text. You’ll transform into someone who naturally follows the rules without thinking about them.
5. 🎯 Don’t Miss the Big Picture
Sometimes guys forget just why they are texting a girl. They get wrapped up in idle chit chat and completely lose track of the big picture, which of course is to get the girl to meet up in person. Now, this doesn’t mean that texting is all logistics and planning. The fun, playful texts still play a role: they re-establish the attraction that makes her want to meet up.
But from there, remember that the purpose of your texts is to keep moving the interaction forward. Your texts should be about building attraction and planning the meet-up. If your texts don’t have purpose and direction, it’s likely she’ll get bored and her attraction may begin to fade.
🧠 Final Thoughts
To wrap this up, the most important part is to believe in yourself. All the rules in the world are useless if you approach every conversation like you are already rejected. Be light, be patient, be the guy who is simply fun to talk to, and the texts will do their job: get you to the meeting, where the real conversation happens.
This is just an update re-post to fix some wordings.
❌ Originally posted on August 22, 2019.